As I was taking the elevator to the 85th floor yesterday I overheard two CFO-type executives talking about how so-and-so was no longer on the favorable side of the 80/20 rule. “He’s not part of the 20% doing the lion’s share of the work anymore” the younger of the two gentlemen offered.
Across the executive elevator, I let out a noticeable “pfft” and stared at my Floorsheims while shaking my head in disapproval.
“Is there something wrong?” sneered the more senior of the 2 gentlemen.
I let his question hang in the air a few beats before answering.
Lifting my gaze I responded “Come with me and I will blow your socks off, blow your mind, and everything in-between.”
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15 minutes later, their world had been rocked, their ties were askew and they now march through the hallways of corporate America with a real businessman’s swagger.
What happened in that executive conference room was a funeral. The Death of an idea whose time had passed. The Death of a friend who was always ready to offer an over-simplified explanation to real and difficult problems. The Death of a patient who was secretly on life-support for more than 20 years.
In that room, we all took turns clutching a pillow and snuffing out our old friend until the twitches slowly petered out like a freshly snapped bed sheet falling into place and quietly coming home to rest. Was it Euthanasia? Maybe. A mercy killing? Probably. Did we give it the double-tap? You’re goddam right we did!
That day on the 85th floor – we killed and buried the 80/20 rule.
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As few people know, the 80/20 rule became part of the business lexicon in 1896 (source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle) by Vilfredo Pareto where it also became known as the ‘Pareto Rule’.
We all know it well and have used it throughout our working lives. I’ll spare us all the textbook definitions and history. But summing it up: as a rule, it worked well for a while. Until it didn’t. And, now it doesn’t.
Why doesn’t it work anymore?
THAT is a question worth exploring.
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The 80/20 rule failed as each of these 4 cultural ‘isms’ came into fashion and helped eliminate the efficacy of this once celebrated rule.
1) Shadow-Dancing.
Mimicking what was happening in disco halls across America at the time, during the late 1960s business types start to mimic the ‘go-getters’ by dressing alike and getting the boss’ attention with façade-type behavior which managers were ill-trained to tease out.
For those country-music-types, once the whole room starts line-dancing no-one has the faintest idea who started the dance. Furthermore they no longer care.
Soon the lines start to blur between the high-achievers and the slackers. Because of the 80/20 rule, an invisible war had begun. Managers no longer had a clear grasp on who was achieving and who was merely riding their satin coat tails.
In revolt, disco-balls are systematically removed everywhere; literally from dance clubs and metaphorically from boardrooms.
Strike one.
2) The Happy-Hour Years.
Starting in the 1980s and still somewhat alive today, managers attempt faux-impromptu after work get-togethers to create more employee face-time in an effort to identify their best employees.
Unfortunately only two types of people showed up: alcoholics and soon-to-be alcoholics.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many alcoholics? It was the 80/20 rule: it birthed them from a dirty womb smelling like stale beer and cigarettes. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings started popping up everywhere.
Even though the meetings were supposed to be anonymous and closed, researches here at the International College of Businessry drank their way in. We took notes. We drank bad coffee. Greatness has its price: in this case, coffee breath.
Fast forward 10 years…we have been forced to divert corporate profits into Employee Assistance Programs to help manage all these drunks. Nice job 80/20 rule!
Strike two.
3) Mission-statements.
Like a 5-Star first-round draft pick stud, nothing had more promise to inspire greatness than the mission-statement. Yet nothing has ever died a quicker death…except for Pete Shepanski (not his real name but more on that later.)
Nothing has fallen farther from its lofty aspirations than the mission-statement, eventually landing with an Evel Knievel missed-jump-style dirt cloud “thud”. The engine still revving long after Evel’s last twitch.
Started in the 1990s the mission-statement aimed at bubbling the cream to the top of the most inspired and dialed in employees. This practice took aim at dealing the leaders, followers, and slackers out of a random deck and slotting them into their properly filed place on the corporate ladder.
It turns out the mission-statement’s goal of answering “who are we and what do we do best?” is most accurately answered by: “a bunch of semi-random strangers forced together and eventually learn to hate coming up with mission-statements so violently they form an unlikely partnership and crank out any old crap so they can escape and go home on time.”
Instead of hitting the mark, the mission-statement landed squarely in the graveyard of ineffective corporate ideas.
Aiming at oiling up the team machinery for maximum cohesiveness and productivity, mission-statements hit an entirely different mark, altogether. Mission-statement’s ultimate deliverables landed flat, leaving the team having to come in on the weekends to make up for diverting the team’s energy into this most wasteful task.
Fun fact: after hangover Monday (day after Superbowl Sunday) what is the most common employee-taken sick day? Mission-statement day.
If I am honest, even today I am getting a bit queasy.
Strike three.
4) The Trust fall.
Even after 3 strikes, this one deserves to be on the list. It has earned its honorable mention.
Climb the step-ladder up onto the counter. Take a deep breath and turn around. Close your eyes. Prepare for your co-workers to catch you. With locked arms and combined strength. Strength in numbers. Trust in each other.
It is a beautiful metaphor and exercise.
Unless you are Pete Shepanski (remember him?) His hereditary gland-related weight problem had him tipping the scales at well over 350 pounds and excreting an oily discharge from his pores making him a “surprisingly slippery and difficult character to get hold of for a big man” as the coroner would later write on his death certificate citing the main contributing causes to his unfortunate death.
Onlookers likened the incident to a greased up harbor seal slipping silently through the mangroves and into the inky darkness of the great beyond.
Slippery Pete: equal parts trust-fall chant, medical diagnosis, and ultimate cause of death. A moment of silence here would not be out of place.
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Some say Pete took the 80/20 rule with him to his final resting place.
Or, was the other way ’round?
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If the 80/20 rule is dead (and I assure you, it is), what has risen to take its place?
Stay tuned for Part 2.