Managing Employee Retention with Quarterbacks, Interceptions, and Therapists.


In assessing football quarterbacks, one metric stands out more than any other as a predictor of greatness (or adequacy…or even failure) and that is the touchdown-to-interception ratio.

In simple terms, over many drives-down-the-field, it is the most accurate measure of efficiency and predictor of success for a team. No measure is more accurate.

How good can you be -versus- how much of a risk are you to the team? 

For quarterbacks, there are only a few exceptions to this rule. They are rare, and Hall-of-fame quarterbacks are not among them.

For quarterbacks, the touchdowns/interceptions ratio is the measuring stick of greatness.

In business, we have a similar measure: Attrition-Level.

Measuring sustained and continual attrition is, by far, the best measure and predictor of a manager’s benefit -or- risk to the team. Team-level wins and losses never fall far from this measure. NEVER.

Attrition-Level is the touchdown/interception ratio for business.

Why is this?

A manager’s one job – above all else – is to acquire, build, cultivate and most importantly, RETAIN talent. That’s it. Failing this task, everything else is irrelevant and points to a manager who consistently, and narcissistically, puts him or herself before the team.

Here at ICBM we have a phrase for these people – ‘rejected applicants’. (This is why we require a psychological test with every application). Essentially, we don’t allow sociopaths through our doors – and you shouldn’t either.

Against the backdrop of the great resignation, what level of attrition is expected and what is acceptable?

Is one too many? Is a hundred not enough?

As an example let’s use a hypothetical upper-middle manager (ignoring the obvious spherical cow on a frictionless plane joke – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spherical_cow ) with 2 or 3 reporting first level managers with 10-15 direct reports each. Thirty to 50 total employees.

Attrition-Level-0: Ideally none of your employees quit. (Congrats, this is a Tom Brady level hall-of-fame career)

Attrition-Level-1: If you have one resignation, that’s acceptable. Moreover, if upper management provides a speedy backfill, they acknowledge your value and trust your decision making. Not to worry.

Attrition-Level-2: If there are two resignations, don’t panic but begin examining your organization. Again, note time-to-backfill.

Attrition-Level-3: Three resignations is a sure sign that something is amiss. Start with yourself and work your way up and down the org chart, then back to yourself where you’ll find the solution, if not the problem.

Attrition-Level-4: Losing four people (about 10%) calls for direct action. You must fix what is wrong, and fix it now. Being blunt, this is your look-in-the-mirror moment and YOU will need to embrace change. Lock yourself in the bathroom with your phone and issue an immediate “hey google: find a therapist near me.” Help is available.

Attrition-Level-5: We don’t want to imagine a manager, group, company or organization that suffers five or more resignations in a year. If that’s you, you’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic after calling for full speed ahead. Not coincidentally, you probably don’t have any friends. Your selfishness and narcissism has driven them all away as your incompetence runs at max-speed.

Losing 15-30% of a team is a clear sign from above. It is time to hang up your managerial hat and do the team a favor and resign immediately. Do not pass GO. Donate your paycheck to charity.

It is obvious (to everyone but you) the team is better without any direction than with you at the helm. If you have hid your sociopathy until now, fine. Good. Great. Consider your secret a severance check.

And a final career tip: a more suitable job for you would be measuring feet at the Foot Locker.

But fear not, if you find yourself between Attrition-Levels 1-3 we can help you identify the problem and have solutions for employee retention.

https://the-5-things.com/2021/06/23/employee-retention/