Saying goodbye to a trusted colleague and work friend can be a difficult time. It may be the hardest thing most employees will face during their entire working career.
Years or even decades of camaraderie somehow get washed away with a few gluten-free cupcakes at 2PM in the break room. You’ve been through challenges together and celebrated collective successes. Some days, those friendships are the only thing carrying you into and out of the beige abyss that is your office cubicle. There is no doubt that over time, the ups and downs of work relationships can play like musical notes weaving a delightful tapestry and soundtrack into our working lives. Often this can push a work acquaintance deep into the welcoming friend zone. Experts suggest that just *MAYBE*, these work friendships are the foundation of our emotional well-being from 9-5 every working day.
Who has time for the make-believe world of *MAYBE*? Nobody! But attrition is real. People retire or get hired away, win the lottery or shrivel in a fiery home-meth-lab chemical mishap. These things DO happen. Business can be wonderful and cruel at the same time. She can be a fickle mistress. One thing is certain, this isn’t a rousing fireside, hand-holding rendition of kum-ba-yah, this is the circle-of-life playing out each and every day.
Parting with a trusted colleague and friend is, as they say, such sweet sorrow. We are happy to see them go, but will miss their positive contribution to a more tolerable work-life balance.
**CUE RECORD SCRATCH**
Stop. This isn’t a Dr. Phil moment. And the corporate world doesn’t care “how’s that working for you” as Dr. Phil would say. In THIS game of corporate musical chairs, the Sarah McLachlan music has stopped and there is one less chair to go around. Once someone leaves, it is time to get employees back in their seats churning out more delicious profit.
We can use this circle-of-life moment to represent either:
1) A friendship wreath. Delicately arranged to reflect the seven sides of a compassionate and sensitive soul.
-or-
2) A whip. Poised for action for those who aren’t.
Hint: Think Indiana Jones.
While losing a colleague may be difficult. Always remember, you aren’t their colleague, you are their manager. Act accordingly. The almighty gods from corporate are watching from up the ladder. Mess this up and you have grabbed your last rung.
Question: Will quickly getting the team back on track allow the grieving process enough time to breathe?
Good question, but the wrong question. The right question is: Are you running a business or are gathering up feelings for the recycle bin?
Not to worry. Just like the best remedy for a temple-throbbing monster hangover is a couple shots of Jagermeister, the best thing for grieving is to smother it with a little hair-of-the-dog. Giving your team some emotional challenges will be like holding their hair back while they vomit up last night’s excesses.
But simply holding their hair back isn’t enough. To help you get the team fully functional again, following these 5 tips will have the corporate machine running smoothly even after losing a cog.
1) As grieving expert Elisabeth Kübler-Ross informs us “A busy mind has no time for sorrow”. Give your employees something constructive to do.
“Of course we are all sad Gram-Gram died from a 6 month battle with incontinence. She would have wanted you to sort out her unmentionables for the donation bin. Jimmy, you better hop to it before the mildew sets in.”
Lesson: It is almost impossible to be sad when you are too busy being helpful.
2) Take the bloom off the rose -or- more accurately, take the shellac off the turd.
If Jimmy left for greener pastures, give it a few days and slowly remove him from any pedestal upon which he may have been placed. Depending on how well Jimmy was liked, THIS may be your number one priority. He doesn’t deserve the pedestal…without the shelac, show the team how much of a turd he really was.
“Remember that nasty toilet clogging problem? Now that Jimmy is gone, so are our toilet clogging days. I liked the guy, but am certainly glad his comode-gagging bowels are no longer here to choke up the pipes with his epic discharges.”
Lesson: Our team is for winners ONLY. Jimmy left with a set of steak knives. Good riddance.
3) Throw him under the bus.
When a crisis comes up. Any crisis. Make it Jimmy’s fault.
“Jimmy promised to complete that work before he left, but it never got done. I guess it was more important that the team suffer than he pull his fair share.”
When everyone starts hating Jimmy, your work is done.
Lesson: Winners never quit and I’ve got Jimmy’s quittin’ papers right here.
4) Pass along messages from the great beyond.
The metaphorical beyond of course. If Jimmy actually died, this might be a bit creepy, but with some creativity, the option is still on the table.
Ideally, relaying a message of Jimmy’s despair from the real world will get your employees’ attention.
“Jimmy wanted everyone to know how much all of you were covering for his failure to reach adequacy here at GloboTech. Yesterday, he served my kids fries at BurgerTown and has seemingly filled out the grill apron nicely by packing on an additional 30 pounds. Good for him. Apparently, he also found a clever way to double-diaper without a noticeable trouser-tail. Again, good for him. He seemed pretty happy for a guy without a reason. I really miss him some days.”
Lesson: Jimmy is gone. Might want to double-flush. He was a bowl-winder.
5) Circulate a new catch-phrase
As in: “Don’t be a Jimmy.”
Whenever something bad happens, reprimand them with a smartly punctuated “Don’t be a Jimmy.”
Let them remember Jimmy’s not-so-attractive qualities. Jimmy clogged up the lactation room’s bidet and clogged our hearts with emotional baggage. Once they see the entire picture, they’ll realize Jimmy’s departure was a beneficial one-way flush out of our lives.
Lesson: Words matter and people are idiots. A simple jingle will bury Jimmy’s memory faster that a cat urgently flicking away a hot, fresh nugget of pungency with is own 2 paws.
Bonus Lesson: “Don’t be a Jimmy”
There you have it. Another tool for your managerial toolkit. With the appropriate actions and reactions, no longer are employee departures something to ever be worried about again. Instead they can be another opportunity to motivate those bums you call “employees”.